The Power and Magic of Play
GW's Maggie Parker says children communicate and process emotions through play—and adults can learn from that.
By Brook Endale
Maggie Parker believes we can all learn from play therapy.
We can learn how to give one another more grace and relate to each other in ways that are less about compliance and more about understanding.
Parker, an associate professor of counseling and human development at the Graduate School of Education and Human Development, is an expert in play therapy, an evidence-based, developmentally appropriate mental health intervention that uses children’s developmental language of play to allow for expression and emotional processing.
It’s indescribable, she says, when a child who has experienced trauma starts to regain their joy.
“It’s beautiful to witness.”
And that’s why she’s so passionate about play therapy. She was first introduced to play therapy while completing her doctorate at the University of North Texas, which has the largest play therapy training program in the world and where Parker studied under foundational leaders within the field. “It really changed my understanding of children; it changed my understanding of relationships and how we engage with each other. And from that point on, I was hooked.”
In addition to working as a play therapist, Parker also shows teachers and parents how to use these skills in the classroom and at home. She said the concept may sound simple or even strange if you don’t understand what play therapy is. It’s not just playing with toys, and she wishes more people understood how life changing it can be.
What is play therapy, and what does it look like in practice?
Play therapy is a mental health intervention that helps children use the language of play to allow for the expression and emotional processing of experiences and difficulties. It is generally used with children up to about age eight because developmentally they do not process and communicate verbally in the same way adults do. So traditional talk therapy is not as effective. Rather than asking children to meet adults at their level, play therapy lets them express themselves in ways that are developmentally appropriate.
We use specially curated toys for emotional expression. You have toys that align with aggression, creative expression and real life, and they're presented in a very logical, specific way.
Each of the toys is neutral so that it can be anything it needs to be for the child. The toys serve as metaphors and symbols to allow for emotional expression.
Play therapy allows children to process their experiences within a safe and trusted space.
Play therapists then reflect the children’s play, their emotions and their words. For example, I might say: “You are determined. You're working so hard to get this the way you want to. Even though you're frustrated, keep trying.” I am narrating their experience to help them gain awareness as they are building their resiliency and sense of self.
Why are you an advocate for this type of therapy?
There is magic in a room when you are with a child, and they are truly trusting in you. There's no greater gift than a child showing you who they are, fully. I've had children who have experienced significant abuse, and they may not be talking about it in session. They may be drawing something every single time, but there's a purpose and a meaning behind these actions.
Iʼve watched the light come back into their eyes. I've seen their childhood come back. I've witnessed that, and I don't know how to quantify that, but it's magic.
Should parents get involved in their child's free play or leave kids to play on their own?
There's a quote I have pinned up that says, “Give nature time to work before you take over her business, lest you interfere with her dealings.” We so often try to rush children’s development, work them harder, and structure them more. Kids need to play freely.
If you want to improve your connection with your child, allowing your child to play and lead the play and you being present for that will give you an insight into who your child is. So just being present and letting them lead is a fascinating way to get to know your child.
“Play is not frivolous.
It’s not meaningless.
It’s important.”
What do you wish more people understood about play and childhood?
I think there's a couple of things. Play is not frivolous. It's not meaningless. It's important.
When we think about how we're raising and educating our children, we’ve de-prioritized free play. There's so much focus on academics, electronics or organized sports, and none of those are free play.
That's not how children explore and understand the world. And the way in which we've set up education is not in alignment with what they need.
How can these ideas change how adults interact with children?
Children have the capacity within themselves to grow, and I want other adults to recognize that children have the capacity to do that. We don't have to talk down to kids. I’d like for us to shift our attitudes and understandings of the ways in which we work with or engage with children. It wouldn’t hurt to also do this with other adults.
To learn more, check out Parker’s podcast, Playful Beginnings, where she and co-host Kristie Opiola explore the magic of play therapy and the “why” behind child-centered play therapy.